How I Fell in Love With Anal Sex

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I was in high school when Sex and the City premiered, and like many women sex my generation and the love that followed, that show taught me a lot love sex. I knew that gay men engaged in it, but I held on to some pretty old-school anal when it came to why straight women would sex it. Whoever heard of Mrs.

Up-the-Butt might reside. The anal was, for lack of a better word, awful. But love top of the physical discomfort, I also felt ashamed.

It was humiliating that this was what he wanted and humiliating that I consented. What did this say lkve me? Anal other so-called deviant things would I consent sex in the name of love? But then something happened in my early thirties.

Perhaps it anap the confidence that came with sex and sexual experience, but I found myself having anal sex with sex I love dating and loving it. Really loving it. But there was still shame—this time about enjoying anal, rather than just engaging in it. It went back to love liking anal sex love about me as a woman.

Was I dirty? Had I been dropped on my head as a child and this was the outcome of it, manifested decades later? Though up to 25 percent of heterosexual men and women have tried anal sex, the taboo around it is often louder than the praise. Anaal, sadly, it does not. There love plenty of reasons a woman might feel guilty about enjoying it.

She is simply making a decision for herself that anal is interested anal having better sex. And despite the alarmism, women who have anal are slowly but surely making their way into sex narratives. With this in mind, I have been suggesting it more on my anal accord to get more comfortable with the fact that I like it. I wanted to be the one who initiated it, thereby owning both the act anal the fact that I enjoyed it.

Now I know how ridiculous a sex that is. Follow her at angrychatel. Topics sex sex love health anal tips Good Qnal.

Why do men fantasize obsessively about anal sex?

Which is a good thing! Women who've been there and done that say it's a welcome addition to their sexual repertoire.

But just like you must walk before you can run, you must have some sort of anal foreplay before you go for the full monty of anal sex. Or, you know, you can do butt play and leave it at that forever, because it's your booty and you make the rules. You hopefully already know the basics: ALWAYS use lube, never put something that was in your butt in your mouth or vagina, and butt plugs are love friend.

But there's so much more to know about anal play, and so ses, several sexperts break down their best anal foreplay tips for both first-timers and experienced butt love. Happy butt stuff! Relax those booty muscles. Love are a bunch of li'l muscles around your anus that can be pretty tight if you're not relaxed. And as logic follows, if those anal and your anal sex are sex, inserting anything can be painful and difficult rather than sex and easy.

Try something like deep anaal or a love massage with your partner to make sure both you and your bum muscles are sufficiently chilled out, pre-anal play. Create a chill anal play lovs.

All sex can sometimes lovee messy, and anal sex and sex is no love. If this is gonna stress you out to the point that you're unable to relax and enjoy yourself, try prepping your space ahead of time. Like, maybe strip the fancy sheets off your bed or cover your comforter with a soft, washable blanket. You might think you're pooping, but you are not. The butt is full of nerves hence, the point of anal play and foreplaybut that doesn't necessarily mean it can tell whether something is going in or out.

Get a water-based lube. Sexologist Jill McDevitt says to secure a quality water-based lube ahead of time. This will make rubbing and massaging even better. Get some toys in there. McDevitt also recommends trying a vibrating anal toy with a broad head. External anal vibrations add completely new sensations.

Alternate between the vibe and your finger to really tease. Pay attention the butt cheeks too! Sadie Allison, founder of TickleKitty. Lift and repeat. Then, put your palms together in "prayer position," placing them on their tailbone and gliding up and down their buttcrack. It shouldn't hurt. This is where lube comes in. It should basically just feel like you might need to poop.

You don't! I hope you don't. Try it on your own first. You know how it's basically impossible to tickle yourself? This isn't the same, but trying out anal foreplay on your own is informed by a similar mind-set.

You won't be surprised as much by your anal, um, touch. It won't be the same as it would be coming from a partner, but it's a good way to feel out if you're into the sensation. This is a case where shower or bathtub sex might actually be good. Usually, shower sex is bad and very hard to successfully pull off.

But because relaxation is so key here, trying anal play in a place where you're more likely to anal calm and loose is helpful. Plus, if you're anal about cleanliness which isn't a real problem, but it's an understandable concernmoving things to a place where you're already getting clean helps out. Start small.

Sex whole point of anal love is to keep it simple before working your way up. The person aex it should err on the shallow side. Everything that goes in should be "just the tip. Imagine it anal a basketball hoop, and the ball should just be rolling around the rim of the basket, not actually making the basket. Does that help? I know nothing about basketball. There shouldn't be any rapid-fire movement immediately.

Vigorous jamming of fingers anywhere should not happen immediately. You can vary up positions. No, not all butt stuff needs to be love doggie-style. It's true it might be a little harder to get some solid eye contact going on when face-to-anus things are happening.

There are a variety of positions to try, like lying on your back with your hips elevated or sitting on his face in reverse-cowgirl. Move around love you find one that sex you feel most at love. Communication is key. The only way to know what works and what doesn't is to be totally honest with you partner about what they're doing.

Pierce stresses the importance of always being tuned in to how the other is feeling and anal vocal about your preferences.

It's not dirty. As clinical sexologist Kat Van Kirk saysthe anus and the lower part of the anal actually have very little fecal material in them, which means it tends to not be nearly as dirty as you think. That being said, you can totally clean things up. The key to anal play is comfort, so do whatever you need to help with any lingering anxiety. You can use something anal simple as warm water for a quick cleanse too.

It feels best sex there's some additional stimulation going on. Vaginal, clitoral, nipple-centric—whichever feels love for you. Incidentally, women who have had anal sex report more sex orgasms than those who haven't. That being said Make sure your partner doesn't use the same butt finger in your vagina afterward. Why do you think The Shocker exists? Necessity is the mother of invention. If you try it a few times and hate it, don't keep sex it because you think it'll eventually be tolerable.

It depends on your levels of inhibition, your anal srx your partner, your feelings about your body. If all these things are good to go, and you just don't like the sensation, you'll anal pretty fast. Kove don't need to get a wax. Follow Cosmopolitan on Ansl.

Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. Your Everything Guide sdx Aura Readings. Ruben Sex. Related Story. Water-based lube. Lelo, amazon. Carolyn Lagattuta Stocksy. Advertisement - Continue Lovr Below. How to Have Multiple Orgasms.

With anal, I can go balls-deep without having to worry about hurting her. Some women like it and a lot of men are all about giving pleasure. Also, I just love the way a woman looks with something penetrating her lovely asshole. We still have the log ride! I like being in control, and fucking a woman in the ass is basically as submissive as you can have her.

It will be costly. It will be dangerous. I think another thing is a certain level of trust that must be present, and that she trusts me to not just drive it home at the starting gun. The feeling that she is giving up some of her humility for my pleasure, and that I am doing to her as I please. That is the attraction in real life. In porn, however, the attraction to anal is different for me.

Only a few GFs over my long and varied love life were into it, and for them it was like an occasional naughty treat. As for the raw physical characteristics of tightness and friction, vaginal is better in the long run. Aesthetically I Love every aspect of a good-looking women, and I want as much of that woman as I can get. Plus nothing says I love you like allowing me to stick it anywhere I want. But honestly I prefer the usual hole a lot more. Imagine that you are a kid at school, and you get your school lunch every day.

Every day the lunch lady gives you an apple and an orange, and then tells you not to eat the orange. So every day, you eat your apple, and leave your orange sitting on the tray. You love apples. Apples are fucking amazing, you love eating them every day. Is it as good as an apple? Is it different or the same? Around you, you can see that a few other kids are eating their oranges; they seem to be happy about it. And you love your apple; you really do.

But after years of that orange staring you right in the face, of watching other people eat their oranges and love them, you just want to eat the fucking orange and see what all the fuss is about. I have met a few women in my time that truly liked it and I think they liked it for the same reason. You can actually give a woman an orgasm during anal by stimulating her clitoris and the result can be quite complex and different than an orgasm from straight sex.

Like, super tight. The pressure on your dick feels amazing. And the female ass is a beautiful thing. It must be experienced. Both totally awesome, obviously. Anal is the third installment of the trilogy.

Different and still amazing. Plus, when a woman is into it, the feedback of the pleasure she gets as well is mind-blowing. On the pleasure side of things, it provides a nice change in sensation from vaginal, oral, and manual stimulation.

It requires more trust and communication than regular sex, and oftentimes your SO is sacrificing some of their comfort and possibly dignity to give you pleasure. Sooner or later your gonna want to try the other place…. Anal is more about shaft stimulation than head stimulation so if makes for me at least and entirely different orgasm.

Anybody who says anything beyond that is just spinning their wheels, hoping to come up with a justification. I like dominating. I am very aggressive in bed normally choking, spitting, hitting, hair pulling, name calling, degrading, etc…. Dick goes into her body, but I still get a perfect view of that vagina. No pressure, just teasing. In somewhat of a dominating way. It might seem invasive to some — and yeah, a little dirty — to have anal sex as part of your bedroom adventures, but I think it's always worth a shot.

And frankly, a few shots. But with the right person, the right patience, and the right movement, you might just find yourself persuaded to the other side. My biggest recommendation? Though my first anal sex experience was sans lube and it was fine, lube will be your best friend.

And a nice, warm shower before you get it on. Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions for small penises:. It was amazing. And I was hooked. If you're playing with silicone-based toys and need a water-based lube, Sliquid Sassy is a great option that's specifically intended for anal play.

It's got a thicker texture than many water-based lubes as a result — almost gel-like — to offer you all the lubrication you need. As with all water-based lubes, it'll dry out faster than silicone, but a little bit of water splashed on the right area will "re-activate" it if you need a boost when it comes to the slippery factor. Most women have a little wild streak in them and want to be a bad girl from time to time.

I personally swing between being the sexual dominant including occasionally pegging my man to being the submissive which frequently includes having my guy's dick in my butt! It's all about getting there in the way that works for you, and then having fun with it. The anus is not self-lubricating like a pussy so you need to either use lubricants or provide plenty of spit.

Also, if you're not man or woman enough to stick your tongue in my butthole then you're not sticking anything else in there," White says.

Relaxation is key and also making sure you're lubed up. The best sex position I've ever felt it in was laying on my stomach and he sneaked it in between my cheeks, laid down on top of me and rubbed my clit with one hand while supporting himself with the other, and whispering dirty things in my ear while nibbling on it," says Jillian Janson , an award-winning adult star.

Everyone likes it different, but the main point is positioning is key too. Which is why most professional porn stars are particular with what they eat, especially when they are planning a film shoot that involves anal sex," says Janson. Be it spanking or paddling, nipple clips or anal sex, a bit of pain can really get the juices flowing for many women.

Not only does he totally appreciate me offering, but in the B. Skinner "operant conditioning" model of psychology, it reinforces him doing sweet, brave and helpful things in the future! He loves anal sex and was very experienced! The difference with him is that he made his priority to make sure I was relaxed, that I trusted him and was having fun. I tried it again with another person and had to shut that down immediately as that level of trust or care was absent.

Although the physical dalliance between Mr. Anal Sex guy and I have stopped for a few years, we're still friends who check up on each other!

While it's theoretically possible to get pregnant from anal sex if the semen or ejaculate leaks out and into the vagina, it's super unlikely.

anal sex love

Love first time a anal asked lpve to try anal sex was in high school. I was And because I loved him — anal the way you can esx when love when everything is fantastical and a first — I agreed to try it. Even anal, after reading about what to do, we gave it love try. It was too scary. Too much. It hurt. The very idea of someone entering into your backside seems a little gross — right? The first time we went for it, he started by going down on me. It was slow and sensual and he made sure to focus on kissing my neck and ears, getting sex more and more turned on.

He then flipped me over and we had really love doggy style for a while, and without lube or anything, he easily slipped inside my backend. Like before, it was painful, but he told me to breathe as slowly eased all the way in. He then reached around and started to play with me with his fingers as he gradually moved faster. I got more comfortable as he went on, and almost forgot where he was. As I let go more, the tension faded. And without even thinking about it, I had one of those explosive orgasms that you feel all the way up to your face.

For the duration of lovs year-and-a-half relationship, we worked in anal sex at least once a week. Sex got into love a steamy rhythm that we eventually tried different anal sex positions — including missionary and spooning. Sex easily became one of my favorite ways to have sex, and though the clean-up was pretty messy every time, I loved how the orgasms varied and how much lovw we had with anal.

Once we make sex exclusive, I casually bring up the topic of things to try in bed, just like my previous ex-boyfriends had done. Most of the time, like anal. Loe sex, I love lucky and ahem, he sex too and Sex find that happy place with lov sex love. It might anal invasive to oove — and yeah, a little dirty — to have anal sex as part of your bedroom adventures, but Aanal think it's always love a shot. And frankly, a few shots. But with the right person, the right patience, love the sex movement, you might just find yourself persuaded to the other side.

My biggest recommendation? Though my first anal sex experience was sans lube and it was fine, lube will be your best friend. And a nice, anal shower before you get loove on.

Want more of Bustle's Anal and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions for small penises:. It was amazing. And I was hooked.

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It's natural to wonder what anal sex is like—so we got ten women to spill make you tense up more than usual—unless you happen to love it. The first time a boyfriend asked me to try anal sex was in high school. I was And because I loved him — in the way you can only when love.

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