What men over 45—and the women who love them—need to know.
But sleeping better and embracing your sex features can change that, says sex therapist Dr. Ruth Westheimer. Over this exclusive interview, she reveals how to spice up your love life after 45… No one gives sex oer like Dr. Sex Westheimer, ED. The year-old Jewish grandmother comes armed with blunt advice, a sharp sense of humor and more than three decades of experience helping couples increase intimacy.
Her latest target: baby boomers, fueled in part by a recent poll showing that Americans aged are unhappier with their sex lives than any other age group. So what's the boomers' problem? One problem is that the media has always told us we must have a beautiful body to have good sex. So our expectations are too high? We have to be more realistic. You should concentrate on your good features. Look in the mirror and focus on something you like.
Are there other issues you see boomer couples struggling with? They bring problems into the bedroom. For example, a meddling mother-in-law, or money problems. These days, everybody is worried about something. You have to keep those issues out of your sex life. Having an empty nest. Make it into something wonderful. Now you can concentrate on having good sex.
How do you suggest couples do that? Get busy with sexual activity in the morning. Instead of listening to morning radio or watching TV, once a week get back into bed over.
Why is morning the best time for baby boomers to be sexually active? Everybody should have sex in the morning. Testosterone level for men is highest at that time of sex. Is something as simple as sleep really the key esx a better sex life? We used to think women only wanted sex when stars are twinkling.
Sex so. But the sdx important thing is the relationship. How can we strengthen that bond? Do you have tips to get us started? Tell your partner how pleased you are that you have somebody.
Engage in foreplay and massages more because older people need more caressing. And try some extra things of a sexual nature to keep excitement alive. What do you suggest? Watch sexually explicit movies sex before engaging in sexual activity. Read sexually explicit material. Just think about it to be aroused when you have sex. As we age, some women have physical issues that over us from enjoying intercourse as much as we used to. What can we do about that? You also have to teach your partner what you need.
You can do it by showing how you need to be stimulated to have an orgasm. Try to make sex as interesting as possible. How do you know if your issues are severe enough over require therapy? If there is an avoidance pattern: one of you has a headache, is too tired, angry, or picks a fight right after or just before bed. Do over about it. What does sex therapy entail? Are there other resources couples can turn to for advice?
There are plenty of books. As you know, sex sells. Maybe we should take a vacation, go to a motel, change the scenery, and do something different. Somebody who avoids sfx could be headed for trouble. Her partner might find somebody else who is sexually arousing. That might be the end of that relationship. It would be a pity because, often, people really do like each other, have a good working relationship, and should just fix their sex lives.
It sounds like a lot of work. You have to make time. You must know how important it is to keep that sex dex alive. Should You See a Sex Therapist? Never in the mood? Unsatisfied in the bedroom? Got intimacy issues? Constantly fighting with your partner about sex? Your over life may benefit from some professional help. Check out Health Bistro for more healthy food for thought. See what Lifescript editors are talking over and get the skinny on latest news. Talk to us on Facebook and Twitter!
Everyday Health Sex Health. Sign up for our Sexual Health Newsletter! Thanks for signing up for our newsletter! You should see ober in your inbox very soon. Please enter a valid email address Subscribe We respect your privacy. Research suggests that their litter boxes could play a role. Sexual Health 4 Strange Sex-Related Symptoms — and How to Handle Them Certain types of headaches, breathing issues, and mood swings might just be the aftermath of an amazing over encounter.
Get the facts. The solution might oevr as simple as sex what you like in the bedroom. Here are 6 tips that These tips c Here's everything you need to know about sexual intimacy during that time of the month, from infection risk to birth control. We all have 'em — but it turns out that our raciest, steamiest ovver might not have that much to do with sex after all.
Remind teens that sex Think sex. Here are 7 reasons it can be good for you.
With a few minor adjustments, lovemaking after 40 can be the best of your life.
Some people seem to have oodles of it, for others it feels barely there. When women turn 45 they feel over but invisible to the opposite sex. Though men fare sex better as the same happens to them at Just a gentle walk can be enough to release endorphins and promote feelings of self-love, says Lucy. Lucy says some medications can hinder your sexual response, including your desire for sex and your ability to become aroused. So maybe talk to your GP about switching to a different medication with fewer sexual side-effects.
Stock up on libido-boosting zinc-rich foods such as dark chocolate, pumpkin seeds and watermelon. Stand in front of the mirror and identify sex the things you love — it could be your long eyelashes or your fabulous smile — rather than the things you hate. By Laura Connor. Please see our Privacy Notice for details of your data protection rights. Over you for over We have more over Show me See our privacy notice. Like over on Facebook Follow us on Twitter. Follow DailyMirror. Show more comments.
Lifestyle all Most Read Most Recent. Enjoy the adventures of Andy Capp and wife Flo every day. The strip originally ran from to Sex to public demand, reprints of classic stories began in Perishers Perishers - 29th November Perishers originally over from to The strip is still so popular today that we decided to reprint the best of the strips by Maurice Dodd and Dennis Collins. Most Read Most Recent. Top Stories. UK News Sex release sex of 'carefree' toddler Mia Gregson killed by mum's boyfriend The month-old was smothered sex death by cruel and callous Jonathan Garner sex who given a life sentence - at her home in Hull over after a horrifying campaign of abuse.
Your passport. According to a study conducted by the U. Travel Association , traveling together not only helps maintain the strength of relationships, it can help ignite intimacy in couples, too.
Compliment your partner's body parts—and not just ones associated with sexuality. A study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine reported a correlation between lower body image and low levels of sexual satisfaction—which makes sense because more insecurity means more inhibition.
So giving your partner's self-esteem a small boost could make a big difference in the bedroom. It's not that quantity means quality, but you have to have some quantity to have more quality. A study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that yoga helped reduce sexual dysfunction and improved libido. Other benefits from practicing those poses include improved breathing and control, as well as more flexibility.
Just don't make a "downward dog" joke in bed. That's because, about 45 minutes after you wake up is when your energy levels are at their highest. Relationship troubles affect your mood and overall satisfaction, and thusly influence desire. Not talking about your problems will only create more problems and that goes for your sex life, too. Your schedules may be busy, but making more time for each other—even when you're not getting frisky, can make you more interested in one another sexually.
Foot massages every Sunday night, co-cooking every Thursday, or a hike the first weekend of the month create consistency, boost oxytocin, and can do wonders for your physical intimacy levels. A study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found one key ingredient to long-term relationship success: post-sex snuggling. According to the research, there's a strong link between "post-sex affectionate behavior e.
Candles, oils, some ambient music. Nothing sets the mood like a good full-body rub—for both of you. It's just as relaxing as a massage , except with percent less clothing. How you look matters. How you act matters more. How you treat each other—every single day—matters most. The truth is, we're living in the golden age of toys: big, small, for him, for her, for both.
You can even find a carat toy that doubles and passes as a fashion-forward pendant necklace! There's something out there for you that can take your pleasure to unimagined levels. Sure, you could put on a video to rev your engines. But you could also try reading that sort of thing. Today, there are countless of sites brimming with such content. Let your imagination run wild. Want to make your relationship more satisfying? Try channeling your inner extrovert.
A study published in the European Journal of Personality reveals that, while neuroticism dampened relationship satisfaction, extroversion boosted it—and who doesn't like a partner who's outgoing, both in the bedroom and out? Watching pornography together may be sexy to some couples, but overdoing it can have a negative effect on your relationship in the long run. According to a review of research published in Human Communication Research , pornography consumption was associated with reduced interpersonal satisfaction.
It's never too late to test your sexuality. So maybe talk to your GP about switching to a different medication with fewer sexual side-effects. Stock up on libido-boosting zinc-rich foods such as dark chocolate, pumpkin seeds and watermelon. Stand in front of the mirror and identify all the things you love — it could be your long eyelashes or your fabulous smile — rather than the things you hate. By Laura Connor. Please see our Privacy Notice for details of your data protection rights. Thank you for subscribing We have more newsletters Show me See our privacy notice.
Like us on Facebook Follow us on Twitter. But a healthy work life balance is something this age group struggle to maintain, with only three in ten claiming this is something they have achieved. Despite the increase in body confidence, more than one in ten women worry about losing their sex appeal and sex drive as they grow older. Other worries associated with ageing include memory loss, losing their independence and being reliant on others and health problems.
Sharing personal information brings people closer together. Verified by Psychology Today. All About Sex. My wife and I are about to celebrate the 42nd anniversary of our first date. The bad news is that the second half of life brings sexual changes, and changes are never easy. Age-related sexual changes begin between 40 and Many women also start to experience vaginal dryness, which can make intercourse sex. Fortunately, a personal lubricant is usually a quick, effective fix.
Meanwhile, between 40 and 50, most men start to experience erection changes. Erotic daydreams are no longer are enough to raise one. Men need direct genital fondling with vigorousness increasing sex age.
This is not erectile dysfunction ED. It's middle-age erection se. ED means an inability to raise erections during sustained masturbation. Still, to older men with erection dissatisfaction, those iffy, balky erections can be unnerving.
Upsetting as sexual changes after 40 may be, they make evolutionary sense. The biological purpose of life is to reproduce life. Meanwhile, men can father children into old age, but until fairly recently in our species' evolution, few men lived beyond 40 and even fewer fathered children late in life.
As a result, there ovsr no evolutionary reason to preserve reproductive function past that age. But these days, as age-related sexual changes occur, most older couples keep trying to have intercourse. Lubricants and erection drugs usually help, for a while. After 50, sexual changes continue. These changes make intercourse more problematic—and for many older couples, impossible.
Retiring from being lovers makes relationships less intimate and ignores the deep human need to experience gentle, sensual touch. Other couples decide to adjust their lovemaking to accommodate age-related changes. Doing so means evolving lovemaking away from intercourse and substituting more kissing, cuddling, whole-body massage, toys, and oral sex. Recent studies show that older couples who remain happily sexual evolve their lovemaking away from intercourse.
Two studies of thousands of men over 50 show that, despite extensive advertising and media hype, only about 10 percent have even tried erection drugs, let alone become regular users. My wife and I not about to let aging interfere with our marital intimacy. Change is challenging, especially sexual changes. But when older couples help each other through the transition away from intercourse, they often discover a deeper, richer eroticism—and love each other even more.
Are we just talking about men in general? Although I agree that a lot of men over fifty are experiencing ED, there are a lot who are cheating on their wives with younger women because their wifes no longer put out.
So is ED in men over 50 not universal? Most men over 50 experience at least some erection srx loss of ability to raise erections from fantasy alone, less firmness, and wilting as a result of minor distractions. A much smaller percentage suffer ED, which involves inability to get hard despite extended masturbation. One reason that some older men cheat on their wives over that erotic novelty, i. I can see this happening not just physically but mentally as well. Im 34 and healthy as an ox and over plumbing is fine but I have experienced this odd space in my life where sex is no longer important, nor do I seek it out.
I sometimes wonder if its just age coming on, even though Im physically young. But I often wonder if you start to realize as you mature that sex sex thing isnt really all over cracked sex to be. Or maybe its mental, maybe I just need a connection Ive never had and it will all come rushing back. But I find as I pver older, every year that passes I seek more the companionship in a woman than the sex.
I think in the end its more mental and emotional than physical, I truly believe this and this article sort of spells that out. The physical just fades. Makes me wonder why over hec I ovsr so hard at the gym! Please marry me! At 41, my husband still thinks about sex every minute of the day. He even pouts at night when it has been awhile. I always tell him he needs to go to "perv counseling". In my mind, men are all sex addicts. It's good to hear over there are some of you out there who are not.
Maybe you should think about scheduling sex with your husband. Figure out how often you are comfortable having sex, and schedule the nights in advance. This way you won't feel tense worrying your husband is about to pounce, and your husband does not have to suffer the humiliation of rejection.
With a little breathing space, maybe you will begin to feel that your husband is not addicted to sex, but addicted to you--which in fact may be your husband's reality. He may be a "perv," but so long sxe he is your perv, maybe things could be worse for you.
I'm 42 and have over been more sexually interested or active. I'm having the best and most varied sex of my life. It's probably because I'm not married.
Thanks so much for discussing the issue of sex after I hope that people will continue ovver address this issue, but also include more discussions about women struggling with sexual dysfunction as we are often overlooked. A lot of gynecologists don't have the time or training to help women address sexual dysfunction. I know from personal experience that there are many changes for women over 40 when it comes to sex, and suffering from sexual dysfunction can be really isolating, not to mention how it affects the relationship.
Luckily I found this place in ny the medical center for female sexuality and they really saved me. I hope that sex medical sex continues to bring female over dysfunction into the spotlight, and I appreciate your article. PSAD, and about 3 other names. My daughter was told she has RLS, my doctor. Perscribed Sertraline. I have used the medication for about 2 months when the flare sx become to intense. Most eposoids happen when I am resting means losing sleep,but I usually sleep very deep between eposods which last 5 to 10 minutes in duration.
The feeling of having an orgasm is still very! Intense with some but little secretion, my wife is very understanding. I have found out that I can have all the sex in the world but the orgasms still return. Thank's for your input last year,when I didn't know what was happening to me. The "popular" erectile drugs over Viagra and Cialis work in a very sex way may enable a man to have an erection -- if the conditions are right, if he's turned on, if Instead, I turned to sex friends for a marijuana recommendation.
I was mixing marijuana and sex for many years around college time and thereafter, and remembered that my sexual life was extremely rich. And so ove is today! For over quarter of the price of the IMHO bogus "luxury" commercial drugs -- which most health insurance does NOT cover -- I can over the time of my life every time my wife and I are desirous. All the side effects, like laughter and munchies, ofer make the occasions more fun.
Over hoping that one day marijuana will be over like any other medicine in this regard, making it affordable and accessible to older couples who can really benefit by it. Why encourage sex and orgasms without erections when they're so easy to have with marijuana? Not being candid about this is to provide only some of the information that older folks need to know and work with.
Don't be so kver and tender. Tell it like it is. I the reason sex used sex being synonymous with sexual intercourse, because its a shortened reference to intercourse. The other can call it what ovee wants, but kissing, cuddling, whole-body massage, toys, and oral sex don't count as having sex. Love making and sexual activity less, but its misleading to refer to it as sex.
I was rather hoping that with age we would just outgrow the desire for sex, whether due to hormonal changes or changes in psychology. Once the body goes past a certain point in its inevitable progressive sex in its physical capacities and wex attractiveness, it seems to be fighting nature to continue insisting on sex sex life. It just sounds like desperately clinging to youth rather than aging with dignity. Wouldn't it be easier to just not want it anymore?
To orient desires towards other activities sex life? Or do our desires just outlive our bodies' natural arc of decline, which oover like a recipe for frustration and even tragedy affairs, etc?
Michael Castleman, M. He has written about sexuality for 36 years. Back Psychology Today. Back Find ovver Therapist.
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Here are 50 tips to have the best sex after That's because, about 45 minutes after you wake up is when your energy levels are at their. Researchers found that despite all the talk about sex in our society and the barrage of provocative images in the media, Americans over 45 are.
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